Dear Thomas
I ve written you to remind you
That I have gone away
But don t worry
I m still the same guy
And I still think you re gay

Captain Stabbin
Is what I ll call you
Don t deny you re a fag
I saw you
Leanin on some guy
Watching all the Lifetime movies
Cryin out your eyes
And whacking off to George Clooney
I wanna kill you
I fucking hate you

Here s the news
I dropped out of school
And now I m back to snortin coke
While I m getting fucked up
You re getting fucked up
Your ass
And having a polesmoke

A few friendly guys
Two innocent lies
And you can have them in the sack
Look them in the eyes
And make them realize
You wanna ride them bareback

Oh, Thomas
Why d you deny it?
Don t try to hide it
You re queer
That s why
You re really shitty
I left your city
And moved here
But now I found
It s different from the last
No more Thomas
Secretly getting fucked in the ass
No longer do I hear midnight moans
Or catch Thomas wanking it to the plumber on the phone

I wanna stay here
Away from you, queer
This is my dear dear dear
Letter from here
Telling you I m never coming back
And you ll never trick me back into the sack